I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
