I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
