We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
