I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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