with your own penis?
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you inspire me to be a worse person
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I need a burrito and a hug.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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