the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
