I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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