guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
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