So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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