Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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