whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Someone signed my nipple.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
