One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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