Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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