Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize