Whatcha textin bout Willis?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
