So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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