I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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