He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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