How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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