The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
