I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
