Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
He kissed a someone with a penis
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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