God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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