All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
