i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Randomize
