I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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