i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
The Olympian is in my bed
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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