My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
That's how pantless uber rides happen
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