i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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