she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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