i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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