You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
