dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
