I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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