you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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