I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
