I think scott just propositioned me for sex
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
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