bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
At least life still wants to fuck me.
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