...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
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