Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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