pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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