your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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