Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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