is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
