Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
