What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
there is glitter all over my balls
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
