His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
