i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
