I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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