Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Two words: blizzard sex
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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