what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
