Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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