i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
