I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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